Tuesday, 24 May 2016

I've got one nerve left...

A friend recently said to me that she had never understood what people meant when they said that their nerves had gone...until her sons came into her life.

Our boys are very good boys and we couldn't be prouder but what is it about that hour before the school run? I'm hoping I am not the only parent experiencing this 'before the chaos of the school run chaos.'

The morning goes something like this.....

1. Insist (with some noise) that the boys get out of their beds. Why they take no encouragement with getting out of bed at stupidly early o'clock at the weekends is a matter greatly discussed between my husband and I.

2.Get breakfast. Fairly simple you would expect but not really. The boys like different things for their breakfasts and have at least three courses each so we find ourselves bowing and nodding "will that be all Sir? Would Sir care to know the flavours of Frubes left in the fridge before Sir makes his final decision?" More fool us, I hear you.

3. They sit, eat and argue over what to watch on tv.

4. Then comes the dreaded moment after Dad's gone to work thinking, "ahh what lovely calm children I have." They are bored of tv, they have filled their faces for half an hour there is only one thing left to do according to them....play.

5. Playing might sound fair enough, but it's not people, don't be fooled. I get all of their clothes set out ready, toothpaste on the toothbrushes etc. and all looks organised. I then explain that mummy needs to apply her face and do something with the hair which is still under the towel from the shower. "Yes mother dearest, that is super. We shall get ourselves dressed and then proceed to play a calm, educational game."  Well they don't talk like that but I am lured into a false sense of security anyway.

The next stage is never the same. Last week on one occasion I came downstairs to find Darth Vader and Spiderman having a lightsaber battle in a den they had made out of wet towels from the bathroom. On another occasion the entire Lego box had been emptied on the floor which then made it impossible to manoeuvre around and get them ready without the excruciating pain of stepping on a piece of lego with bare feet.

This morning I had enough and explained with some expression to the boys that it wasn't fair that Mummy felt like she had done a full shift by 9am. I gave the look of disappointment and proceeded to apply concealer under the eyes.

I then came down to this....

Oh O...mother guilt!