Thursday, 6 September 2012

The school run...

I am now officially one of those mothers (all who's children are of school age!) who's day completely revolves around the school run. 
We are lucky to live close enough to the toddlers primary school for us to walk to and from said school which is lovely but the week is proving to be pretty stressful. 

Anxiety has reared its ugly head of late and although talking writing about it is a bit naughty (I have found that the best way to get over it is to try and move on quickly) I genuinely think that my eldest starting school has played a massive part in the return of the dreaded anxious symptoms. 

Sometimes I feel like I'm starring in my own version of the Truman Show....'Return of the Panic Attack; thisa timea itsa personal.'

Who knew walking through primary school gates could be so terrifying.

On a positive note the not so little anymore man has done us proud this week. He did really well on his first  and second days at school. 

The problem with the toddler is the separation. I had to stop taking him myself to preschool because he got himself so worked up when I dropped him off that it just got silly.
We don't have this option for school. The other half is at work so its up to me. 

I always try my hardest to conceal any anxious feelings I may be having from the boys. I set off with the boys on the first ever school run with a big smile on my face and confidence in my stride when realistically inside I wanted to grab both my babies and run for the hills...perhaps to live some kind of 'sound of music' style life where we would spend our days making clothes from curtains and singing about flowers. 
I was quite obviously not the only parent that day battling with their natural urge to want to run away with their child. Thank goodness it was a sunny morning otherwise all of the sunglasses would have looked a bit daft. What better way than to conceal mascara smudged teary eyes!

I intend to not make a big deal of the ever increasing number of 'I don't want you to leave me Mummy's' that are seeping from the toddlers wobbly lipped mouth. 
I know he is fine as soon as I am gone and that as a mother I need to dig in and get used to the daily heart breaking feeling. 

Wish me luck!


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