Firstly I'd like to apologise in advance to any family members that might be reading this post and cringing. Thankfully I believe my Dad hasn't got round the reading what I write yet so at least that saves some embarrassment. Dad if you have chosen this moment to begin reading my blog...ha!
Secondly, kids, if you're reading this when your older your Mum's showed you up again. Tough, I'm sure your used to it by now. P.s. Tidy your bedrooms!
At this moment in time the last thing we want is anymore children. We love our boys more than anything but two is manageable (most of the time). Three would mean a lot of necessary changes and upheaval - bigger house, bigger car, bigger credit card bills, bigger stocks of patience.
With this in mind, once things had returned to something like normality in our household after the horrendous time following the littlest monkey's arrival the question arose of how we were going to prevent the making of any further little people.
We're not ready for making it permanent but a long term effective solution was called for. The last time I was on the pill was before we got married (I got pregnant with our first on our honeymoon but resisted naming the child Lake District.)
Before I met my hubby I came off the pill for a brief period of time thinking it would be good to give my body a break. This was not the case. When I went back on the pill a few months later it played havoc with my hormones and I'm convinced to this day that it played a big part in causing my anxiety/panic attacks that became a thorn in my side from around that time.
So, determined that the pill was a no no for me I went off to have a chat with the GP about my predicament and what the options were. I've never fancied the idea of the contraceptive injection/implant and given my worries about the effect on my hormones the doc suggested ruling these out.
The conversation then turned to the coil. There is the copper coil - can cause heavier/longer periods so I quickly dismissed this one. Then there is the Mirena coil which can be used for five years, does contain some hormone but not as much as the pill and has the added bonus of making your periods very light or non-existent and reducing pmt symptoms.
The doctor was very positive about this form of contraception and we decided it was the best thing for me.
After a bit of a faff getting it sorted I finally had my appointment earlier this week.
It was an interesting half hour for several reasons....
1. I swear someone somewhere is purposely popping a trainee in the room observing everything whenever I see a medical professional about very personal issues. I know you can ask them to leave but I never have the heart too!
2. The room was the smallest medical room I have ever been in.
3. At one point it felt like I was in the hot seat for a seriously intense game of sexual health 'Who wants to be a millionaire.' For £100...when was your last period? For £500... was it normal? For £1000...when did you last have sex? For £5,000 did you use contraception? And for the winning question...was there any contact whatsoever without the use of said contraception? I felt more like a naughty teenager than a woman that has had two kids and been married for five years! I should have asked if I could phone a friend?
4. It wasn't just the doctor and the trainee, a nurse was also thrown into the mix whist I was lying legs akimbo in this tiny room.
5. I made the mistake of having a good look at the instruments being used.
In all seriousness though I felt only minor discomfort and the actual procedure did not take long at all. The doctor explained things very well and I felt like I had all the information I needed.
I was told that the coil would not be effective for seven days so I wasted no time telling my husband that evening that it was not valid until next week!
I thought the very little dignity I had left after having two children was lost during this weeks appointment. Turns out there was more to be lost.
You know all traces of childhood innocence have vanished when your Grandmother asks you how your 'coil fitting' went.
I am not shy when it comes to talking to female family members about such things but I do draw a line. That line was crossed when said Grandmother proceeded to tell me how she felt when she had a 'coil fitted' back in the day.
Men really don't know how easy they have it!!!