Thursday, 22 March 2012

How not to be a domestic goddess...

Recently I have received compliments from a lovely lady regarding my ability to keep on top of all things domestic whilst looking after two young boys (always lovely to hear).

Previously when someone was praising this ability of mine to my hubby his response was: "It's like the whole swan thing - she may look calm on the surface but I get to see the mad effort going on under the water to keep things going!" 
As much as I would like to deny it the other half was spot on. I'm not afraid to admit I'm an organised person and like to look completely in control at all times. The truth of course is that the majority of the time at home I'm flapping like a maniac just to get the necessary done! 

Here are my tried and tested methods of ensuring a complete disaster on the domestic front..

  1. Tidy the house and hoover through just before a scheduled play date at home with friends. Toddlers tend to be tidy when in groups.

 2. Ignore the bad smell coming from the kitchen. It will rid itself eventually.

 3. Let your toddler roam free around the house with jam sandwiches. Jam wipes off very easily.

 4. Repeatedly ask your other half to help with jobs. They will be done immediately and in exactly the same way you would do it. 

 5. Ignore your instincts that the cat is acting strange. Its very unlikely she has bought a mouse in the house.

 6. Leave the water on when you go away. The chances of there being a leak are very slim.

 7. Omit to put the sugar in the fruit cake. It tastes lovely without it anyway.

 8. Begin some arduous domestic task when the baby is taking a nap. They always stay asleep until you have finished the job in hand.

 9. Use polish to clean the laminate floor. Kids are born with grippers on the soles of their feet now aren't they?

10. Never remind yourself that looking after children is a full time job. 

Even superwoman would struggle to keep little ones entertained whilst maintaining a tidy house and getting tea on the table on time!


  1. These made me laugh! Especially the wooden floor one, and the jam! x

  2. Great advice! I once ignored a bad smell in the kitchen, thinking it was something to do with the drains, and it turned out to be a bag of melted potatoes! I still haven't recovered!